Today I thought I would share a little more about how living mindfully came into my life. A few years back it seemed as if life was spinning out of control. I remained busy at work and home, needing to be busy at all moments. What I hadn’t realized until I changed jobs and relocated to a beautiful, quiet, treed area was how the noise in my head was affecting my life. One day I decided to search to see what information was available and if there were any relief for this constant ringing. What I discovered is the level of ringing in my head is between 4,000 hertz on a good day to 5800 or more at peak. The doctor thought I was suffering migraines. We discovered it was the tension brought on by the ringing that was causing the pressure around my head, not migraines.
There are times when I am in a meeting for work when people are saying words just to hear themselves. All I hear is blah, blah, blah and shut down. Literally, I shut down and drowned them out as if they are not even there. One thing about tinnitus is that I have learned to go into a meditative state wherever I am. Good you say, I think so too. That is until I need to know what was said in the meeting. Follow-up notes are a blessing.
Recently I purchased a hearing aid with white noise that provides a constant shushing in my ear. The sound is no longer up and to the right – it is now evenly divided between my left and right ear. Hearing and the brain are very interesting – they compensate for anything lacking. Although originally the ringing was mainly in my left ear, now that I have one hearing aid the right ear decided to join in. They are almost even in ringing capacity at this point. Hearing aids are very expensive and health insurance does not cover hearing aids for tinnitus. I was denied. Apparently the insurance company does not feel that their clients deserve relief from the constant ringing. If they experienced this we may see some changes. I have an appointment for the right hearing aid in May and look forward to having balance.
Well this brings me back to living mindfully. My audiologist and Ears, Nose and Throat (ENT) specialists believe that the new hearing aids will eventually retrain my brain and I will not notice the noise, it will no longer affect my life. Yeah!! I believe in them. Meditation, sound machines, and retraining the brain working together will provide comfort and relief. If you suffer from tinnitus or know someone who does, let them know there is hope. It is not life threatening, just a constant annoyance. Just think what it would be like if you had to listen to the drip, drip of the faucet all day, everyday. Ok, you might understand now. Or, go to the tinnitus website and listen to the sounds that people actually hear. It was a learning lesson for me.
My audiologist tells me not to think or write about tinnitus and normally I don’t however this morning I thought maybe, just maybe I could help someone out there try a new approach.
While prepping for tonight’s dinner, I thought about how fortunate I was to have vegetables of many colors to prepare and eat. About the water that I am drinking and the coffee that I had with my eggs for breakfast. There are many people who don’t even know where or when they will eat again. Many people in the world don’t have access to clean water. I am fortunate and you do not have to be rich, have large home, expensive car, or a lot of money in the bank to feel fortunate. Trust me on this.
If everyday when you wake in the morning you give thanks for another day, if you have water be thankful and don’t waste it, if you give thanks to the food you are fortunate enough to have in front of you, if you give thanks for vision, hearing, speech, air, water, trees, grass, a safe place to sleep . . . , this will allow you to overcome your obstacles.
Today, while prepping I noticed the patterns in the beets that resembled the inner rings of the tree and the beautiful patterns. Then I slowed a little more and took notice of all the colorful vegetables I had before me. This is how you can slow down and enjoy life one moment at a time. When prepping food look for the creativity of nature. Nature blesses us everyday with color, patterns, and beauty. Sometimes we move to fast to even notice but when living mindfully you take notice and begin to enjoy life no matter what else is going on with your body or in your environment. I thought I would share some of nature’s creativity I noticed this morning.
Today, please slow down and notice every moment of the day. The dark and light of the day because the shadows can make the light shine even brighter. When I slow down, I can ignore the sounds in my head. They play on and sometimes become louder but through daily meditation, walks in nature, living in the moment, even reading a book I can focus so intently on the moment that the noise cannot and will not affect my life. Some of you may live in very noisy areas. Can you wear a sound reducer to eliminate or soften the noise? I am not sure but as we move through this life learning, growing and sharing our discoveries it will be a better place for all.
Love and Light!